Beautiful is Just A Listen Away

Don't perceive yourself as less of a person because of your insecurities. No matter what anyone says, you are beautiful. You are worth it. You do make a difference in someone's life. Even on those days when you feel lost and hopeless, just remember that there is at least one person out there that will realize something is up. You are a part of someone's life. Don't be quick to let that go.
~ Monday, April 2 ~

Only Sims That Rock Get Yelled Abuse At

I actually wrote this ages ago but didn’t post it up so… I sort of forgot about it until now. Oh well.

What this is about: Derek creates Jogan Sims, thinking that it wouldn’t be as bad as the real-life version. Little did he know.


“Amanda, why do you keep using the computer all day?” Derek asked his little sister. “It’s summer holidays; you should be out in the sun, not cooped up in here.” He entered her room and stood beside her bed. “Come on, why don’t we go swimming or some—“

“No, Derek!” the little girl said irately. “I’m busy!”

“Doing what?” he asked incredulously. “You’ve never been too busy for me.” In all honestly, he felt a little hurt at her flat out rejection.

Amanda looked up from her computer screen to her older brother and felt a little guilty. “I’m sorry,” she said quietly and went over to hug him. “I didn’t mean it in a bad way, Derek. I just can’t leave them alone! I need to take care of them!”

“Take care of who?” the tall brunet asked. Amanda led him to her computer and pointed at the screen. “You’re playing The Sims,” he stated. Understanding dawned on him as he looked from the screen to his little sister. “I know it’s a fun game, Amanda, but you can’t keep playing it all the time,” he said gently. “What about your friends? Don’t you want to hang out with them?”

“I hang out with them all through the year, Derek. What are a few weeks in the summer?”

Derek could understand that. At one point he’d also gotten bored of seeing the same people every day at Dalton. He’d especially gotten bored of seeing his two so-called ‘best friends’, Julian and Logan. 

He’d gotten bored of babysitting them, more like.

“Then what about hanging out with me?” he asked instead. “I don’t get to see you all the time, not when I’m at school.”

“Oh, I know we don’t get see each other much,” she said and hugged him again. “But I really don’t want to leave…” Her eyes wandered back to the glowing screen. Suddenly her face brightened as an idea struck her. “I know! Why don’t we play together?”

Derek smiled at her. “I thought the Sims was a one-player game?” He raised an eyebrow at the little girl and watched as her smile slowly faded. He sighed. “Okay, you win. You can keep playing.”

“Really?” Amanda’s face instantly brightened again. “Can I really, Derek? You won’t mind?”

“No, I don’t mind,” he said and smiled for good measure. “Have fun, I’ll find something else to do.” He left Amanda’s room and heard the click of the mouse and tap of the keyboard as he made his way back to his room.

As he closed the door, he found that he didn’t know what to do. It was near the end of summer; he’d spent enough time in the sun already. His eyes searched his room for something interesting to fill his time with. They settled on his laptop.

I do have The Sims installed.

The thought came to Derek suddenly and left him wondering. Screw it. I’m playing.

- A few weeks later -

“No!” Derek yelled at his laptop and banged his fist on his study desk. This was not going to plan. A few Stuarts who were walking past his room stopped and looked. Derek turned to them, his face furious. “What are you looking at?” he snapped. The Stuarts – freshman, as far as he could tell – ran off as fast as they could and left him alone. He got up and shut his door as to avoid more people peering in.

“You can’t do this, you idiot,” he muttered as he got back to his laptop. “I built such a nice house for you, and this is how you repay me?” His brow furrowed angrily at the blond Sim he created. “You do not get to treat Julian that way, you bastard. Now kiss and make up.” He proceeded to try and get ‘Logan’ to interact with the ‘Julian’ Sim he created as well, only to find that ‘Julian’ pushed him away.

“Aww Jules, not you too!” he said angrily. “If you won’t let him hug you, then I’ll make you hug him. Screw going to work, this is more important!” He sighed, irritated. “Stop honking, you stupid carpool, he’ll get there when he gets there!”

Finally satisfied that ‘Julian’ and ‘Logan’ were on good terms again, he let ‘Julian’ leave for work. The brunet Sim got into the sleek limo and drove off. Derek found it greatly amusing that there was an acting job in The Sims, and made sure ‘Julian’ got it.

At first, he didn’t know what made him think of creating a pair of Sims that mirrored his best friends. Well, they weren’t mirror images of the real people, exactly. He tried as best as he could to make them almost identical to the real deal, but some things cannot be helped. For example, ‘vanity’ wasn’t included as one of the personality traits, so he couldn’t put that in for ‘Julian’. That aside, he had a lot of fun laughing at how similar his Sims were to his best friends.

It was simple enough to make ‘Logan’ bad-tempered, which was spot on for the tall blond. As much as Logan’s temper irritated Derek in real life, he didn’t expect the Sim version to be any worse.

Boy, was he wrong.

“Damn it, Logan, stop picking a fight with everyone!” Derek said to his screen. “Just because you have the day off from work, it doesn’t give you the freedom to piss other people off. Delete action. Delete action. Delete action! Go play the piano instead. Get another creativity skill point.”

Derek clicked the ‘fast-forward’ button, making time move faster until ‘Logan’ got too tired to continue playing. “Time for you to eat,” he said, and just when he was about to click on the fridge, ‘Julian’ came back in his limo. “Julian’s home! Wonderful. You can make him some dinner, Lo.”


He sighed. “Leave it to Logan to burn the food.” The blond Sim on screen was flailing his arms around, trying to clear the smoke coming from the stovetop. He bowed his head in dismay, sadly picked up the plate of blackened food and set it on the dining table. Derek laughed when he saw ‘Julian’ eat the food and gag. He imagined how it would play out if they could talk. Jules would make a comment on how disgusting the food is, but continue to eat anyway just to please Logan. Lo would gag at the food he made, but eat it anyway because he didn’t want Julian to see him defeated. He would even try and make it better for himself by saying that it’s not half bad, even though that would be a lie.

“Time for social interaction,” Derek said cheerily. He would never admit it to anyone, but he loved it when he could make his Sims hug each other and more importantly, flirt and kiss. In this case, he loved that he could see ‘Julian’ and ‘Logan’ be so nice to each other, even though something like this wouldn’t happen in real life. A part of him wished so badly that they would just get on with it already, but he knew any attempts at getting Julian to fess up would be futile. Logan wasn’t helping either, not when he kept pining over the wrong people.

“Go on, Jules. You know you want to flirt with him. That’s right,” Derek said softly, smiling a little bit. He was glad their relationship was improving. When he created the two, he didn’t make them spouses because he wanted to be realistic. He didn’t think it would much of a problem. He was proved wrong on the spot. They just wouldn’t stop fighting. Well, at least Derek could handle the bickering and arguments. He was already used to that.

What killed him was that ‘Logan’ would always try to hug ‘Julian’ only to be pushed away because they were still ‘acquaintances’. He practically screamed profanities at them. When left to think about it, he laughed bitterly at the irony of it all.

Since their initial reaction was so…rough, Derek decided to take it slow. Even until now, he hasn’t made them kiss yet. He was afraid of what the other’s reaction would be. He knew it was just a game, but the thought of seeing one Sim reject the other’s kiss would make him hurt. Realising this, he shook his head sadly. Deep down, he wanted Julian and Logan to be together so badly it hurt. Lo would finally be happy, and so would Jules. And he wouldn’t have to keep leaving us.

Derek took a deep breath. He was about to do something he’d been dreading for the past few weeks; make ‘Julian’ and ‘Logan’ kiss. Whatever the outcome would be, he would remain calm and accept it.

The arrow hovered over ‘Julian’. In Derek’s mind, he always imagined Logan would be the one to initiate the kiss, if it were to happen in real life. It would definitely mean more if he did. It would signify that Logan knew what he was doing; what he was getting into. It would also put Julian’s mind to rest on one thing; at least Logan wanted to kiss him, rather than being surprised and possibly rejecting the actor.

He clicked and selected the action ‘kiss’ and held his breath. ‘Logan’ was leaning in…

…and ‘Julian’ pushed him away.

“Damn it! No! Why did you do that, you fucking bastard? Why?” Derek yelled at his screen. His arms were flailing in the air in frustration. “You fucking idiot!”

Derek took a deep breath. “And you call Lo the squid,” he muttered quietly. “You’re such a bastard,” he said more loudly.

“D?” Julian’s voice made him jump from his seat and turn his head wildly in the direction of his door. “What the hell are you doing?”

“Uhh,” Derek stammered, quickly closing the program, making the screen display his desktop image instead. “Nothing, just…stuff.”

“Stuff?” Julian scoffed. “Don’t bullshit me, Derek. What were you really doing?” The actor strode into his room and stood right next to him. His sepia eyes bore into Derek’s, making him feel uncomfortable…and a little guilty.

He sighed. “Fine. If you must know…” he trailed off, wondering if he should really say it. Julian raised his eyebrows, waiting. “I was playing The Sims,” he admitted. But he wasn’t admitting any more than that.

Julian laughed, a musical sound that filled the room. “Really? Must’ve been a pretty intense game,” he said sarcastically.

Derek looked confused. “Why?”

“You were yelling at your screen, D,” he said with a serious face.

“Yeah, well. Only Sims that rock get yelled abuse at,” Derek said casually and shrugged. “Leave it to me to create such awesome Sims.”

“Whatever,” Julian scoffed. He rolled his eyes at Derek and turned to leave the room. “Nice to know you don’t think so highly of me. I’d hate to hear you call me profanities every time I see you,” he said over his shoulder.

“Didn’t know I meant so much to you, Jules,” the athlete said to the retreating figure and chuckled. Julian flipped him off in return. When the door closed, Derek sighed. “If only you knew, Jules,” he said quietly. “If only you knew.”

Tags: Dalton Jogan Derek Seigerson Julian Larson Amanda Seigerson
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    People who ship Jogan harder than you: Derek Patrick Seigerson. BUT DEREK’S LAST LINE SJDBISIUHD CAN I HAVE DEREK AS A...
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